We Are Adopting Again!

Three years ago I wrote this blog post on the topic of “Why Adopt?” That was during our first adoption journey. I don’t blog, like EVER. But for some reason adoption brings out the blogging spirit in me. Now that we are adopting again, and now after being three years beyond the first time we adopted with the perspective I now have, I thought I should dust off the keyboard and write another post. And, if the past is any indication, I will continue to blog like crazy until we get this precious one home and then I’ll undoubtedly cease the blogging. I guess if I did it all the time it wouldn't be special, right? ;-)

You heard right. We are adopting again! After the first adoption for many months as life was complicated and chaotic, Keyanna and I started to think, “Well maybe 3 is all we can handle.” But in the back of our hearts, I think we knew #4 would come...eventually. God has a way of not letting you give up so easily on his plan for your life. That’s exactly what it is…HIS plan. Isaiah 25:1 says, 

“O LORD, You are my God; I will exalt You, I will give thanks to Your name; For You have worked wonders, Plans formed long ago, with perfect faithfulness.”

We can look at our situation from the human perspective, from the financial advisor perspective, from the starting-to-run-out-of-space-for-more-kids-in-this-house perspective, and it really doesn’t make much sense for us to adopt. BUT when we look at it through God’s eyes, we can’t think of a reason NOT to adopt. The question changes based on the point of view. “Why would we adopt again?” becomes “Why would we not?”

Don’t get me wrong. Adoption is no walk in the park. There is risk. There are trials. There are obstacles (our own fear and selfishness being the biggest). Ever since soon after Keyanna and I got married we felt the pull on our hearts for orphans. We knew God was preparing us for something huge, where God would be glorified in a big way. Ever since then He has been gradually stretching us, providing just what we needed at the right time and revealing just enough to strengthen our faith while we realized again and again our need for Him. With adoption #1 we started out pursuing a domestic adoption. We both thought, “We can’t handle going to another country, being parents to a child of another race.” But God clearly broke that barrier. So we went to China and brought home Nathanael. We thought, “This is it. This is the huge thing God has prepared us for.” Nathanael is wonderful and has been an amazing blessing. But we still felt down deep somewhere that God wasn’t finished yet. That feeling was right.

God has led us to where we are now. We are certain of it. We are just as certain that He will carry us through this. We must rely on God’s strength and the help of a strong community of Christ as we go to our daughter. As Jesus said in John 14:18,

"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you."

God won’t turn his back on us. We are his. We won’t turn our backs on our daughter. She is ours.

Chai Atwood

This is my first blog post in a long while and I want to dedicate it to Chai Samuel Atwood, my brother's youngest son, my nephew. Chai was born one year ago today. His name means 'alive' and he is indeed alive. Though his body only lived 24 hours, his life goes on both in heavenly joy as he fellowships with Christ and in the legacy he leaves with us.

Chai's short life has affected me deeply on a soul level. Most of the time when someone you love dies it causes you to look back. But not so with Chai. There are no fond memories to hold on to, no good times to remember. Chai's life causes me to look forward. To the eternal joy and glory that is to come. I finally understand the groaning spoken of in Romans chapter 8 verses 22 & 23. I have a new perspective on the suffering Christ endured and that we must share in order to share in his glory.

I have had many intimate moments with God over the past year. I have meditated on his Word. I have tried to lean on his promises, on his understanding. The main question I have arrived at today for myself (and for all of us) is this: Is my happiness and security primarily defined by the temporary things of this world or is my focus on the advancement of God's kingdom and His purpose in my life? Am I truly seeking to only reflect his glory as his servant, or am I trying to carve out my own path, to be a ruler of my own life, to be in control myself? God has taught me that to lose sight of his kingdom, which Jesus said is not of this world, is foolishness. To try to be captain of my own ship is folly. And to dwell on the temporary will always eventually end in ruin and heartbreak.

Today we celebrate Chai's life. In this flawed and sinful world people hold too tightly to many things, whether it be our careers, our toys, our money, our friends or even our spouse and children. Chai's life is a reminder that all the things we hold so tightly are temporary. People to whom we give so much importance that we fear losing them makes them to be idols which come between us and the Father. This is the sin that God has convicted me of through Chai. If this whole earth passes away...no, WHEN this whole earth passes away, I have nothing to fear. Christ is ALL that I need.

I am thankful for much today. I have a wife and three children I adore. But above all the good gifts in my life, I am thankful that Christ died in my place and because of that nothing can separate me, his adopted child, from the love of Christ. Although death has separated Chai from his Mom, Dad and brothers who love him dearly, nothing can separate Chai Samuel Atwood from the love of Christ. Although the pain of his death will never go away, we who are in Christ know the separation is temporary. In Christ, we remember. In Christ, we hope. In Christ, we wait. We WILL see Chai again one day, and a glorious day that will be.

Today we celebrated Chai's birthday with a balloon release. Many friends and family who love Chai were there. Thanks to all who celebrated in remembrance of his precious life. Sorry we did not get pictures of everyone. We will try to post the video later.

We love you Chai!

Uncle Troy, Aunt Keyanna, Zethan, Trynna and Nathanael


Romans 8:14-25
14 For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. 15 For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, "Abba! Father!" 16 The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children, then heirs--heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.
18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. 19 For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. 20 For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. 22 For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. 23 And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

2 Corinthians 4: 16-18"Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal."

Fun at home and First doctor visit

We have been home for over a week now and we continue to be amazed daily at God's love and grace. I would say things have settled down at our house, but really it is constant flurry of activity. Even though life is busy and at times exhausting, we have so many blessings it is impossible to count them all. Zethan, Trynna and Nathanael love playing together, and I know their fun will continue and intensify as Nathanael grows. We will make so many fond memories as a family, and I can't tell you how good it makes me feel to know that God has brought Nathanael to us to be part of our lives. When I think of the life ahead for our family it fills me with joy and excitement. As Nathanael spends more time with us, he won't know any other life. He won't desire any other life. He will be entirely comfortable with us and love us completely. Now go back and read these last few sentences and imagine how much joy God feels when you surrender to his call and he adopts you.

On Saturday morning, Nathanael woke up early around 6:15. We have been putting him to bed at or just after 7 PM every night because he usually won't take a long nap and he gets tired early. This means he wakes up earlier in the morning. This is usually when Keyanna is taking a shower and getting ready, so I have been going to get him out of bed. I think we finally got over the hump and he now lets me hold him, even when Keyanna is in the room! I started feeding him in the mornings and so every morning when I go in he reaches up for me and actually clings to me and pats my shoulder as I pick him up. Last 2 weeks, he would not have done this. He would have screamed until I brought him to Keyanna. He is really beginning to trust me and enjoy me holding him. The more he learns to trust me, his fears and insecurties are slipping away.

Playing with big brother can get a little wild

We bought this riding toy that is a zebra with wheels. Nathanael Zethan loves Zethan to push him around on it, the faster the better.

I think Nathanael is the one who needs the hard hat with how fast Zethan is pushing him on the zebra.

Ready for his next meal

We got rid of the bottle and now only give him the cup with straw.

Being silly, sticking out his tongue

You are a silly boy

"Yeah, I'm about to throw this cup on the floor. Nothing you can do to stop it."

"OK, play time's over! Where's the food?"

First visit to the doctor. Nathanael weighed in at 19.2 pounds.

Waiting for the Dr.

Looking at a book

He didn't like the Dr checking him. But how many children do? Not many.

Brother and Mommy comforting him

Dr said he is a healthy boy. His weight and height are on the low end, but we expected that. His growth will probably speed up now that he is eating more. He did not get any shots today. We have to go back for those later.

And now, Nathanael, this is what we call the "bounce house"

Big brother will teach you.

Not sure if he likes it

Wait a minute, he DOES like it.

He LOVES it!!

Look out, coming through!

Weeeeeeee!

"Hey Mommy, check me out!"

Nathanael really liked bouncing and sliding. We were not surprised. He is 100% all boy.

About to go down the slide again. AAAhhh!

"You were right, Zethan. This is fun!"

I wish this picture wasn't so blurry. He was handsome in his cowboy hat.

Everyone put your hat on!