Mama's Heart

We are up on Monday morning, November 10th. Today is Gotcha Day, the day we meet Arayla Joy and she will be ours, in the flesh and permanently. Great day but also a grieving day. Adoption is wonderful, but it also requires sadness and loss. In many ways like Jesus dying on the cross to take the punishment we deserve, out of the greatest heartache comes our greatest treasure. Adoption cannot happen without pain, loss and heartache, but it brings about a glorious bond of family forever. We will probably meet Arayla in about 2 hours. We want to ask for a special time of prayer right now and throughout the day (Sunday night and into Monday morning in the U.S)

This is what Keyanna wrote last night for Arayla...


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The Heart of a Mama about to meet her daughter for the first time.

This is our second time adopting and our fourth child. Someone recently asked me, "Is the waiting easier?" I replied, "No, it's just as hard if not harder because you know what the waiting feels like and how hard it is to know who your child is but not be able to hold her. No, it's not easier. It's hard. The anticipation, the unknown and the longing is still here. I long to hold my girl and for her to know and feel her Mama's love. I'm going to attempt to put into a letter how I feel about Arayla the day before we meet.

Dear precious Daughter of mine,

It seems like forever since I first saw your baby picture and fell in love with your sweet smile. Today, 7 months later, on the night before Gotcha day, you are still Dang Yun Xi which means bright and beautiful. But tomorrow you will become Arayla Joy Atwood, officially and forever my daughter. You will forever be our angel--God's messenger of Joy. While I am still waiting my excitement is building, my mind is racing, and my heart is pounding. So many questions. So much is unknown.

Will you smile at me?

Will you see how much I love you?

Will you be afraid?

Will you let me hold you and squeeze you tight?

Will you trust me and want no one else?

Wll you be loudly demanding or quietly observant?

What will you like to eat?

What will you like to play?

Wll you think I'm funny like your siblings do?

Will you love us as your family?

Will you like me to dress you in the clothes I chose for you and put a bow in your hair?

Will you love your Daddy like I do, like he already loves you?

As the time draws near, I'm ready to know you, Arayla Joy, and for you to know me. No more wondering. No more waiting. The unknowns will be finally known. God gave me this song as I think about the questions. Whatever comes, whatever happens, it is well with my soul.

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Please pray for Arayla on "Gotcha Day". She will have to be driven 3 hours in a van to us and then leaving with strangers which is who we are to her in the beginning. Everything will be changing for her. Everything will be unfamiliar and new. Ask the Father is ease her fears as she grieves for the loss of familiar, and to help her feel comfortable and bond with us. Pray for us to be full of grace and patience, not having any agenda or rigid expectations of our own, only submitting to what's in God's perfect plan and His timing. We don't know what will happen tomorrow, but we know God does and he loves Arayla more than we can imagine.

O LORD, You are my God; I will exalt You, I will give thanks to Your name; For You have worked wonders, Plans formed long ago, with perfect faithfulness. Isaiah 25:1 NASB